How To Dress Like A Hillbilly
How to Dress Like | Jessica | April 10, 2009 at 6:47 am
Now, you may be thinking to yourself, isn’t dressing like a hillbilly basically the same as dressing like a red neck. The answer, and it may surprise you, is not really. You see a hillbilly is, typically, considered not all that intelligent and rather, well, how to put this nicely, slovenly in their appearance.
To dress like a hillbilly you must consider the hillbilly in its natural environment. Picture a house whose screen door is only resting on the doorframe, a yard full of old stuff and a pickup truck, rusted, sitting on cinderblocks. The woman is standing out front with a baby on her hip and the man is chewing tobacco with a shotgun resting on his hip as he spits tobacco on the ground.
Ok, now that you have the mental picture in your head, let’s get onto the art of dressing like a hillbilly. Remember, hillbillies are people who have led, hard lives and look, on average, ten years older than they actually are. Over all hillbilly fashion is surprisingly simple:
1) Clothing – You want old, one or two sizes too big for you overalls that are stained or look like they get washed once a week. Flannel shirts under the overalls or a worn out looking t-shirt complete the clothing ensemble. For the women, overalls are good but really beat up jeans rolled halfway up your calves is a much better look.
2) Baseball caps – The cap should be a solid color, black or red, and have a logo on them about sports, beer, farming equipment, women, liquor, fishing or hunting. Make sure the front of the cap is good and curved. Use a baseball to get the look right. Just take the ball, wrap the bill of the cap around it and shove it through the opening in the back of the cap. Make sure the bill is a little wet first.
3) Hairstyle – As for hairstyles I have two suggestions: Men – mullet, seriously. Women – 80’s hair, or dirty and straight with a part in the middle.
4) Shoes – Your shoes should be work boots and look like you’ve worn them everyday for the past 5 years. Women: barefoot.
That’s the fashion part of it, like I said, surprisingly simple. However, it’s not enough to look like a hillbilly; you have to act like one to really pull it off. Hillbillies are not known for their incredible posture, skill at intelligent conversation or cleanliness. So no funny or witty anecdotes or you will completely blow your look.
Lastly, look older than you are. As I said above, hillbillies live hard lives and age faster than other people. You need to bring that look out, as well so, making your eyes look sunken is a plus. Men, grow a scraggly beard and don’t trim it very well. Ladies you have to let your hair get dirty and oily and stop conditioning it.
Remember, you have to look like you’re someone who thinks a computer is a magic box that scares you.
Tags: dress like, hillbilly, hillbilly clothes, hillbilly fashion, How to Dress Like
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YOUR STUPID all hill billies don’t go dirty THANK YOU VERY much. IDIOT . your site is a disgrace to hill billies every where. Some of us probably change clothes and wash our azz more than you change your bloomers a week. and most of us ware nike or a good brand tennis show and no we women do not go barefoot all the time , maybe in our house yes, to help keep our floors clean.duhhh your a redneck that dont know squat about what your writing about…as usuall
Anita,
Thanks for your comment. If you are familiar with hillbilly fashion do you mind providing some tips and suggestions on how to dress hillbilly?
Jessica
Well Jessica, we HILL BILLIES here in West Virginia dress about like anyone else in the world, we ware what is the style at the time, and like MOST people in the world we ware jeans-t-shirts and tennis shoes or sneakers as some may call them.A lot of us like flip-flops also.
We don’t go barefoot because we cant afford shoes, some may like bare feet as people do other places.
Some workers do ware bib overalls and some do ware them as a part of their wardrobe.Because of comfort.
My husband for one wares bibs as part of his work clothes, hes an underground coal miner and although he gets very black every day he also SHOWERS every day also.
And unlike this stupid article, we do take baths pretty regular, we also use soap and deoderent and some of us even have cologne.
And we even wash our hair daily also.
and the ones of us that still have teeth even brush them a few times a day, I even brush my 1 once a week.
Thanks for your suggestions. For Halloween, I plan on popping in Billy Bob teeth and sprucing myself up by not shaving for several days and looking generally discheveled. Maybe I could give myself a fake truckers tan or red neck with cosmetics.
In my experience, you described rednecks/trailer trash/white trash to a T. Throw in an old pickup truck or an 80′s Mustang and you’d have a deffinition worthy of the Encyclopedia Brittanica!
On hillbillies, I’m afraid you’re a bit off. I grew up at the foothills of the Appalachian mountains, and here’s what I’ve found to be typical hillbilly dress:
Overalls- You got that part right. But you’re reasoning was a tad off. As secluded somewhat hermit folk, we go for fuction and and durability rather than fashion. Not to mention they are decently priced and, being denim, don’t have to be washed as often. Most hillbilly women wear dresses and skirts. Occasionally they wear overalls.
Hat/hair- You typically see hillbillies wear cowboy hats, felt hats, or no hats. Baseball caps like you described are a redneck thing. Hillbillies may go for trucker hats if they are older men (usually with the logo of a countrystore or feed store), but seldom baseball caps. A hillbilly would never be caught dead with those trashy mullets. Billy Ray Cyrus was a pop-country (I.e. redneck) singer, not a hillbilly (bluegrass and outlaw country.) Most hillbillies have shaggy unkempt hair, or very short hair. On women, hair is usually cut pretty plainly with no layering or anything.
Footwear- Work boots are common, as they are functional and warm (great for mountain winters). In the summer, many men AND women go barefoot. I usually do. I either wear shoes or sandals most of the summer. Unless I’m checking traps or my still (actually I don’t have a still, but I want one), then I wear boots (too many snakes out there in the woods).
Keep in mind that the loudmouthed, budweiser guzzling, Toby Keith loving folk you see are not real hillbillies. Most hillbillies aren’t into starting fights, causing trouble or making a huge scene. We would rather be in the woods sitting under a tree fishing with a cane-pole, smoking a corncob pipe, sipping some shine. We are more like backwoods hippies (except with the fear of God).
hahah i think its funny how anita says she only brushes her teeth once a week! baaahahhaha, sheesh! i live in a very country town and i can garauntee we brush our teeth twice to three times a day..!! baaahahah.
go the hillbillys
ya know, i take affence at all these comments!im a hillbillie and proud of it!
most the folks who i can see over the hill from our cabin dress like they know fashion! they has work boot and coveralls/overalls and stashes and fun stuff.go hiilbillie power!!! p.s. i also like red necks.(which i am).